dreading Monday

I am absolutely totally dreading Monday. I have my weigh in with Drew and I know I'm not going to make the 3kg loss, even with the extra week with Drew being away. I'll be lucky if I make 1kg ... I'm such a retard. I don't know why I eat like I do. I must say, it's much harder with kids than it was before kids to watch what I'm eating. But that shouldn't be an excuse really. It's like I'm sabotaging myself on purpose. Setting myself up to fail. I'm so dissapointed in myself that I'm not going to make that goal on Monday - and it wasn't as if it was unattainable - 3kg in 4 weeks - anyone can do that. I thought when Drew told me HE was going to weigh me that it would be all the motivation I would need to keep up the good work, but instead I've been on a 4 week crash course. It's goingto be absoultely and utterly humiliating to get on those scales in front of him on Monday. The only redeeming feature is that I have now lost 11 cm total from my measurements.

So this morning, being Wednesday, was my spin class. As it was a 'non-kindy' day for Max so I went to the gym a half hour early - did another 20 minute run on the treadmill. It's so much easier without hills!!!! Then did spin class ... I can't believe that this is a class I actually look forward to now - I never thought I'd see that day. Tried to push myself a bit today and when I took my heart rate at the end of the class it was at 170!! Still want that F11 Polar ... probably will never get it, it's so expensive.

Wallow in self pity is over for the day.